The holiday season is here, and with that comes a time that many of us reflect on our relationships and the love we share for others. While one person may feel bountiful in this reflection, another may feel lack, regardless of how many people are around us. The fact is we all need connection. We need it to feel safe and have a sense of belonging. Horses are the same way. They must feel connected and part of a greater community of beings. Being part of a herd creates safety and also the ability to procreate and thrive in a herd.
As human beings, we must learn to understand the energy of connection. To do so, we must also understand the energy of disconnection. The holidays bring us many opportunities to be with others. We may find ourselves very much in the exploration of connection and disconnection. Regardless of the type of relationship or love that is being presented to us, when exploring connection, mutually shared harmony and love is involved.
My horses have taught me a great deal about the exploration of energy in relationships. Applying those teachings to my human relationships is an entirely different exploration.
When I engage with one of my horses, I am deeply body-centered. Each horse teaches me different lessons about the energy of connection. I love and accept them from a very profound place in my consciousness. It does not mean that it is all rainbows and unicorns. Just last month, after Corazon hurt Diva, I would not even speak to him for a week. And he knew it. He kept coming up to me and looking at me with sad eyes. Then, I apologized for my disconnection and explained to him why. After that, I found him all day and every day standing next to Diva’s paddock (she was not allowed out because of her injury). He chose to stay next to her as if to apologize for the event that injured her. Diva, being a profoundly loving mare, embraces everyone, regardless of their transgressions.
In the photos shared here, my mare Diva offers me her full attention. At that moment, I focused solely on how to receive that pure divine feeling of harmonic love transferring from her heart to mine (even though I also knew a photographer was present). Moving from the space of my head and thinking thoughts into a heart space is an art form that needs practice to master. It is crucial in building the ability to create the connections we crave and require. There is a mutually beneficial exchange of energy. It is seldom a one-way street.
Here are a few of the many steps to practice for creating energetic connection:
- Extend a deep sense of pure love for others through their heart-space.
- Maintain complete unattachment to what transpires. Instead, focus on the brilliant soul-expression the other is offering.
- Create expansive waves of warmth through pure appreciation. The energy will move deeply from the core of your heart and pulses out of your chest, sometimes almost feeling like more than one can handle.
- Increase your ability to receive love. Allowing another’s pure life-force energy to ignite and expand your heart, pushing it beyond the conditioned or program limitations from your past.
- Breathe and allow time to stop, and your senses to heighten.
- Allow the edges of your energy field to diminish as your consciousness expands, connecting you to potent life-force energy and all that is in that moment.
Horses have also taught me to be ok with the “walk-away.” Even though I may be in the mood for a profound exchange of energy, they may not be, so they walk away. During my Coaching with Horses sessions here at my ranch, a horse walking away can have an adverse effect on my client’s experience. They interpret the horse as disregarding them or downright rejecting them. Yet, when I help them work through their old programming and conditioning about what relationships are supposed to look like, they then have the opportunity to make a grand shift of consciousness that will positively affect their human relationships. Guiding them through the change both in mind and body creates a new energetic signature, and shortly afterward, the horse often naturally circles back around to rejoin the once again heart-based client.
It is essential to find a way to stay in that expanded heart-based space where the ego’s expectations and agenda are silenced. In this place, we can more easily meander through the energies of connection and disconnection with our human friends just as horses do in a herd.
To create this ability practice these skills (with a horse or a human):
- Let go of how others need to be with you. Let go of how they show up when they show up, and if they even show up.
- Truly see their unique way of living in this world, and celebrate it. Find the golden nugget of another’s way of being and focus on that. Are they curious, insightful, bold, thoughtful, intelligent, funny, beautiful, healthy, etc.
- Release your need for them to be near for you to feel a connection. Our desire to have a connection to fulfill our experience can backfire. Think of connection as the icing on the cake. It is an extra gift and makes things juicy. If it is not available that is ok—because you still have cake.
- Breathe, and then breathe again—into your heart space and look for the soul expression of others. See the mirror of another as a being of light. We all have the same struggles and fears. When you understand that another is having their fears, doubt, and worries, you can approach with a higher degree of gentleness.
- Know that no matter what happens, one of the most important relationships is that with yourself. Choose to create a peaceful, happy, and harmonious state in your own body and being through thinking only loving thoughts about yourself and others.
- Join me this year in Expand Your Spirit and learn how to understand more deeply your energy patterns and energetic offering, so that you can deepen into more authenticity in all of your relations.
And if you find yourself more alone than with others during these holidays:
- Come into a deeper relationship with yourself through meditation, walking in silence, writing, or expression through creative activities. Avoid simply giving up and watching the tv. It is up to you to make this time of year special and unique. Fill yourself with this. Soon you will find you are filled with love for yourself and life itself.
- Be extra kind to yourself. No negative thoughts allowed. Drop the self-judgments that send you into a hole of feeling like crap. Stop it. Period.
- Use my Inner Vitality Meditations (Click here for more information) to release all of the pictures and expectations you hold about what this time of year is supposed to be. These meditations will help you to shift out of negative feeling loops. You may also consider my class “Expand Your Spirit” if you wish to deepen your connection to your energy field and soul’s calling. Click here for more information.
- Go to your animals.
- Offer a smile to everyone you encounter.
- Laugh at yourself and just stop caring so much about what you think others think about you!
Regardless if you are alone or with others during the holidays, feelings of isolation and loneliness, disconnection and sadness may creep in. Remember that it is your right as a human being to be loved and to love. It starts with the self. Come home to your beautiful body and your loving heart and truly make this a very merry time of year.
From me and my herd, blessings to you and yours,
Kathy
Inkie, Moon, Corazon, Esperanza and Diva
